


Are you a one or a zero?

by Sam_3024



Category: Mr. Robot - Fandom
Genre: Drug Abuse, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Social Anxiety, Technology, fluff & smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:12:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6252073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_3024/pseuds/Sam_3024
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot Alderson, security tech for Allsafe, is stuck in his disdain-for-life rut. That is, until you break him out. You weren't looking for an adventure, but you wouldn't have it any other way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

"As far as I'm concerned, you've got the job," Gideon smiles to you.

"Oh, uh, thanks," you shake Gideon's hand.

A look of confusion washes over his face as he notices how sweaty your hand was, "I'll show you to your desk and you can get started right away." You follow him out of the glass doors and to a desk in the back of the room. "This will be your desk. You're set up next to Elliot here," he puts a hand on the shoulder of the man sitting absent-minded at his desk. 

Elliot practically jumps at Gideon's touch. He glances at you quickly and then back at the computer monitor, "Hey," he musters.

Hunched posture. Bags under eyes. Single word greeting. No eye contact. Black hoodie. You knew this type all too well. He was just like you. Socially anxious and didn't take care of himself.

"Hi," you say back.

"Now that my security team has been acquainted, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what to do. Welcome to Allsafe!" Gideon darts back to his office and immediately picks up the phone. 

"How long have you been working for Allsafe?" You ask Elliot, trying to make a new friend. Although, you weren't very good at that.

"A few years," he quickly answers.

A silence comes over the two of you. You can already feel your own anxiety rising in your chest. You shakily reach into your bag for your water bottle and medication. You tip back two pills with a swig of water. Elliot stops what he's doing and looks at you, and then quickly back at the computer.

"What are those for?" His curiosity gets the better of him.

"You should know. You probably take them too." You shove the bottle back into your bag.

"What?" He looks back at you.

"I can tell by the way you're sitting. No one with social confidence sits like that. However, by the way you speak I can also tell that you don't take yours," you knew people hated when you read them, but you couldn't help it.

"I don't know what you mean," he tries to play it off.

"Look, it might help you. Just try them and see how you feel. I wouldn't, more like couldn't, have this conversation with you if I didn't take them. They help a lot."

Elliot gets up from his chair and quickly walks off. He gives a quick glance behind himself, at you. You knew you had messed up. You never had any luck with making friends, especially when you were attracted to him.

@

About ten minutes later, Elliot returns to his desk. He looks exhausted, but wired at the same time. You've seen this look in someone's eyes before. You wonder...

"Do you have any plans after work?" You had no idea why you were asking.

"Yes." He didn't avert his eyes from his work.

"No you don't."

He looks at you, obviously annoyed. "Did Evil Corp send you?"

"No," you answer.

He looks deep into your eyes. He was searching for an answer, but not even he knew the question. You thought he was reading everything about you with those black holes of his. You thought he saw your bug. 

"As much as I don't want to, we need to talk," he begins to scribble something on a post-it note. He slides it over to you. It's an address.

"Meet me here after your shift," he grabs his things and leaves without another word. 

You were beyond confused. Why was it that he wanted to talk about? It was only your first day and you have already gotten yourself in trouble. You had only wanted to make a friend. As much as he seemed to want to be left alone, you wanted to know more about him.


	2. Elliot's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Elliot after work.

You go to the address that Elliot had written on the post-it. If you weren't so anxious about finding the place you might have passed it. Nothing stood out about the small staircase out front. You opened the door slowly and glanced back at the note for the apartment number. A girl fumbled out of the door across the way while a man yelled at her from the inside.

" 'Sup? You're new here." She smiles.

"Uh, I'm here to see Elliot," is all you could say.

She points to the door across the way, "Good luck. He seems like a shady guy." She stumbles past you out the front door and you swore you smelled vodka.

You shook off the first impression of Elliot's and knocked on his door. He swung the door open and stood aside for you to enter. 

"Nice neighbor," you smirk.

"Oh, yeah. She's a lot like the girl who used to live there."

The way he said that made you want to ask, but you figure he wasn't ready. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I need you to tell me if you're involved with any other corporations or independent hacker groups. If you don't tell me now, I'll find out anyway." You could hear him shaking through his voice.

"If that's so, why didn't you just hack me?" 

"I did," he averted his eyes, "I found nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Then you know you have nothing to worry about. I barely know you; why are you so guarded around me?" 

"Nothing." The bags under his eyes looked worse. His nose was red. You knew you had to get close to him. You've seen this happen before and you won't let it happen again. 

"Elliot?" He heard the anxiety in your voice too.

"What?"

"Your nose is bleeding," your eyebrows creased as you watched him reach up to touch the fresh blood.

He looked at his fingers just as confused. He grabbed a napkin from the kitchen that was open to the living room where you stood. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Bullshit, Elliot. Like I said, we don't know each other that well, but I have a feeling that's going to change. I knew from the moment I saw you that you had a problem."

"I d-don't kn-"

"Where are they?" You demand.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Elliot. Tell me where they are!"

He pointed behind you towards a desk. You stormed over and found the orange pill bottle. "These are mine now," you put them in your bag. 

You were furious and turned to leave. Elliot was smart enough not to get in your way when you were upset. He watched you leave as he held a napkin to his nose. 

"Oh, and I'm sure these came from that 'lovely' neighbor of yours. I'll make sure that stops," you added as you slammed the door. You pushed yourself through the front door and Elliot's neighbor happened to be out there, smoking.

"Hey! Leaving so soon?!" She giggled. 

You grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her close to your face and held the pill bottle up with the other hand, "If you ever sell these to him again, I will kill you." You pushed her backwards and stormed off down the street. 

@

The moment you stepped foot in your own apartment and shut the door, you burst into tears. You flushed the pills and threw the bottle out. Your chest felt right and you were shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. You felt like a hypocrite for reaching into your own bag for your medication, but unlike Elliot you actually needed it. 

A flood of emotions hit you, making you cry harder. You were mad that you had said what you did to Elliot's neighbor. You were upset that you were drawn to men exactly like your father. You were livid that fate had decided to make you relive it.


	3. Allsafe: Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You shamefully go back to work and have to face Elliot after your outburst.

You looked across the open room and scanned the heads peeking up from the cubicles until you saw Elliot's. You lowered your sunglasses over your eyes to hide the bags from crying last night and tightened your grip on your coffee cup, took a deep inhale and headed for your desk. You sat down without a greeting to Elliot.

You saw him staring at you out of your peripherals. "A-are you alright," he whispered.

"Yeah," you sighed.

"Thank you."

You looked over at him, "For what?"

"For taking them," he looked uncomfortable. "No one has cared enough to notice, let alone make an effort to get me to quit." You didn't say anything. "Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors, by the way," he added.

You looked him dead in the eyes and removed the glasses. His eyes widened when he saw how red and puffy yours were. "Are you sure you're ok? Do you need to talk? I'm not always good at talking to to people, but I'm a good listener," he nervously rambled.

"Elliot, I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it here." You said.

"Well, do you want to talk about it after work? We never really finished yesterday's conversation anyways," he suggested.

"I don't think it's a good idea for us to be friends," your heart sank saying that. By the way Elliot went silent, you knew he felt the same way.

"I just told you how no one else had seen righ through my plea for help," he whispered. He angrily pushed his chair away from the desk and stormed out of the building. 

Gideon emerged from his office, shouting after Elliot. He saw you and came shuffling over. "Where is he going?! I need him here! We have a huge hack threat I need him to work on!"

"I don't know what to tell you, Gideon. He just needs a moment."

"Allsafe will not run smoothly if everyone needs 'a moment'. Take those glasses off, by the way. That's not within dress code." Gideon power-walks back to his office, clipboard in hand. 

You put the glasses back on as soon as the coast is clear.


	4. Dead but Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliot doesn't show for work and you worry.

It's been nearly two weeks since Elliot has come in for work. You can feel your airways start to restrict just at the thought of where he could be. Gideon has come to your desk nearly every day asking where Elliot is and how he's called him, but he isn't answering his phone. Angela even approached you at some point and said how she'd go to his apartment, but she knew he wouldn't open the door. So, you decided to. Your anxiety was driving you insane as it forced images of him dead, laying in his own vomit, in his apartment.

@

"Elliot? It's me." You knock on his door. 

His neighbor pokes her head through her door, "Can I talk to you real quick?" She looks nervous, more than usual. 

"What is it?"

"I know you said not to sell him anymore Morph, but he seemed really torn up about something one day. I mean I thought he was going to kill me if I didn't give it to him."

"WHAT?! He could be dead in there! I've been worried sick about him for the past two weeks!" You kick Elliot's door. It's weak, but not weak enough to give. You dig in your bag for a Bobby pin. Thank god you find one and try to put your lock picking skills to use. The door opens. 

You run into the dark apartment. It smells like death and you fear the worst as you spot Elliot laying face down in his bed. You let yourself in flip him over. 

He jumps up and backs away from you, twisting himself in his black sheets, "Ehat are you doing in my apartment?"

You couldn't help but punch him. "I thought you were dead."

"Unfortunately, I'm not," he mumbles sleepily as he rubs his eye.

"Don't you ever wish that, Elliot. Do you hear me?" You suddenly notice that he doesn't have a shirt on. You feel yourself begin to blush. 

His druggie neighbor creeps in behind you, "Oh thank god, he's alive."

"I'll have a conversation with you later," you say, "please give us a moment." She leaves and you sit next to Elliot on his bed.

"I don't have any. I took them all."

"Elliot, you have to start coming to work. Gideon is on my ass about it. Even Angela came up to me."

"I can't get myself out of bed before two in the afternoon. I ran out of Morphine yesterday, so this is the first day I haven't been on it. I just don't want to deal with work when I-"

"When you what?"

"When I feel like this."

"Are you sick?" You search for a aymptom of illness on him.

"No," he looks at you confused.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on? This can't be a regular thing."

"I'm not an emotional person. I don't feel things. I mean, occasionally I feel sad, but that's it. That's why I do morphine. For the first time in a long time, I felt angry," he looked like he was ashamed.

"About what?"

"About what you said. You've said it before: we don't know each other that's well. But it feels like we do. I feel like I've known you for years." 

You sit there in silence. How were you supposed to reply to that? You felt it too, but was this an appropriate moment to admit it? He sounded upset. You can't even comfort yourself, how could you comfort him?

"I don't know what I'm trying to say right now. I think you should go before I say something stupid," he motions to the door.

"No," is all you could say. "We know what happened the last time I tried to leave. I won't let you do this again. I want to help you."

This pained expression washed over his face and you guessed he was smiling. How long has it been since he last smiled?


	5. The Welcoming Committee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Elliot's first day back after his drug-fueled bender and he's struggling to get back on his feet.

"I can't go in," he says in a monotone voice.

"Yeah, you can. You have to, Elliot. You can't avoid work forever," he looks at you and then back out at the sea of Allsafe employees typing away on their computers. "Come on," you take his hand and drag him all the way to your desks in the back corner. 

Elliot sighs as he takes a seat at his desk. He seems relieved that you two made it in one piece, as if you wouldn't. You watch him as he types in his codes and logs into the computer. You have only known him for a short time, but you feel like you need to watch and protect him at all times. 

You glance up and notice a blonde walking quickly your way with stern intent. It's Angela. She stops next to Elliot's cubicle. You wanted to stand up and tell her to go sit back down.

"Where the hell have you been, Elliot?" She yells at him in a whispered tone. "I was worried sick! You didn't answer any of my calls!"

Elliot just sits there and takes it, not even making eye contact with her. His eyes are glued to the screen. 

"Helloooooo?" She waves her hand in front of his eyes.

He finally looks at her, "What do you want, Angela?"

"I want my best friend to talk to me. You've been gone for two weeks and all of a sudden you show up? I want answers!" She looks desperately at him.

"I don't have any, so please just leave me alone right now," he practically mumbles.

"Elliot," Angela starts.

You cut her off, "Angela, could you tell me if three green lights are blinking on router 15 in the tech room?"

She glances at you, then to Elliot. She knows she has over stepped a boundary and looks back at you, "Yeah, sure." She quickly walks off with her bruised ego.

"Thank you," Elliot says after a few minutes.

"No prob," you smile to yourself. 

@

About an hour later, you notice Gideon staring out of his glass office. He swiftly walks your way. Elliot is busy at work and you notice his forehead is a little sweaty. He had already gone to the bathroom twice, you guessed, to vomit. 

"Incoming, three o'clock," you warned him.

He looked to his right and saw Gideon making his way over. He sighed with frustration. Gideon just stood there for a second and smiled, "I'm really glad to have you back, Elliot. I'm glad your alright."

Elliot manages an awkward side smile, "Thanks, Gideon." He continues typing. Gideon stands there and stares for a few more seconds with a smile on his face and then walks off. 

"A lot of people would have missed you, Elliot," you tried an attempt at showing him that there were people in his life that cared about him.

"Yeah," was all he said. "Excuse me," he went to the bathroom again, backpack in hand.

Wait. Backpack in hand? Your smile disappeared and you followed Elliot to the bathroom. You felt your blood pressure rising if he was doing what you though he was doing. You hid behind a corner as you watch him walk into the men's room. You wait a few minutes and walk in after him. 

A guy walking out of the stall looks at you strangely, but you give him the universal sign of "shut up": a finger over the lips. When he walks out, you look under the stalls for Elliot's shoes. Much to your disappointment, you see all of his legs and the bottom of his shirt. 

You kick in the stall, an action that Elliot seems to push you to take. He's sitting between the toilet and the stall. He has a dazed look on his face, his mouth is hanging open, and his head is tilted back. There's vomit in the toilet and a little on the corner of his mouth. 

"Oh, Elliot," you sighed with a tone of annoyance. You decided it was your duty to clean him up. You enter the stall and lock it behind you. You grab the front of Elliot's shirt and prop him up, trying to position him over the toilet. Once his head is over the toilet, you push two fingers back into his throat and your face makes it obvious you're grossed out.

He coughs a few times and then his eyes open wide. He seems to come alive as he grips the edges of the toilet and pukes, and then again. This time, there's blood in it. He falls in between the toilet and stall again and sits there, hyperventilating. He whispers, "Thank you."

You're pushing yourself as far away as you can, into the corner of the stall with a disgusted expression, "You say that, but you're not acting very thankful."


End file.
